今天老师给大家准备的是英语关于:新高考读后续写 | 环境描写公式!
在高考读后续写中,通过对环境的描写,能够向读者交待故事的背景,衬托人物,渲染气氛,从而推动情节发展。环境描写真的是必不可少的。此外,作者可以通过环境描写向读者间接的表达着故事中主人公的内心情感变化。
首先要明确的是,把主旨想清楚,时刻不忘“写景乃为主旨服务”这句话。如果景物与主旨无关,就是为写景而写景,就是无效的写景。
例如,大家看看我要传达出“高兴”与“悲伤”两种不同主旨时,该用下面哪种景物描写。
A. 花儿低着头,杨柳无精打采。
B. 花儿昂着头,杨柳摆动这枝条。
答案一目了然。
所以,景随主旨变。先确定主旨,然后来写景,这样才有效果。
通常情况下,传达出的情感好,则用褒义色彩的美好的、正向的词。传达出情感需要不好,则用贬义色彩的糟糕负面的词。大家看下面三例:
The wind was blowing dreadfully(恐怖地)。
The wind was blowing softly(柔和地)。
The wind was blowing comfortably(舒服地)。
可以看出三句传达出什么样的情感吧。
第一种方法:“情景交融”法下面我来具体讲讲写景两种重要的诀窍:
用一个公式来表达就是:写景+感受
写景后,再添加一个明显的情感描写,就是指:有时在景物描写之后,加上一两句自己的情感态度。这样做的整体效果就是:情境交融。当然,如果你想造成“留白启发思考”的效果,那么就没有必要添加这种显性的情感态度描写了。
举个例子,大家记得2017年11月高考《健忘的妈妈》的故事续写吧。第一段可以用到下面三句:
That night we set up our tent in a park.(那天晚上我们在公园里搭起帐篷。)
The moon was held up above the sky, shining her smooth and charming moonlight. (月亮被高举在天空的上方,照耀着她那光滑而迷人的月光。)
Twinkling stars were blinking(眨眼), and fragrant(芬芳的)breeze(微风) gently blew.(闪烁的星星眨着眼,芬芳的微风轻轻地吹着。)
先来解决5个重点单词。
smooth 光滑的
charming 迷人的
blinking(眨眼),
fragrant(芬芳的)
breeze(微风)
这个景物描写很精彩。但是如果后面在加一句:
Resting besidemy mother, with hands held tightly by her, I feel the world is so beautiful.(躺在母亲身边,双手紧紧地握着母亲,我觉得这个世界是如此美丽。)
这样一加,就让“母亲”显现,就让“我与母亲关系和谐”的主旨就显现了。
再比如,下面两句景物描写:
第1句:The wind was howling dreadfully and the rain was pouring from the heaven, whipping against the branches of lined(成排的) trees.
(风可怕地嚎叫,雨从天倾斜而来,拍打着成排的树枝。)
第2句:The world was loaded with a sea of darkness
(世界承载着一片海洋般的黑暗).
先来解决4个重点单词。
howling(怒吼)
dreadfully(恐怖地)
whipping(抽打)
lined(成排的)
这两句的后面,如果再加一句:
I was seized with the roaring power of nature. A sense of horror creeping up on me. (我被自然发怒的力量抓住了。一种恐惧感悄悄爬到我身上。)
这样就进一步强调了自己的情感。
总之,根据凸显“情感”的需要,我们可以决定是不是该加一句显性的“情感表达”,来决定是不是呈现显性的“情景交融”。
“写景+感受”这个绝招,大家掌握了吗?
第二种方法:比喻法
我们的环境描写还可以用比喻手法,用“like”即可,并交代、突出特点。如果总结成公式,那就是:
写景+比喻+特点
与大家分享的例子是一位美国作家的短篇小说The Whistle (寒笛)中的写景片段:
原文是: Night fell. The darkness was thin, like some sleazy dress that has been worn and worn for many winters and always lets the cold through to the bones. Then the moon rose.
译文:
夜色降临, 暮色稀薄, 犹如穿过了数个冬季的敝衣, 难以抵御刺骨的严寒。而后月亮升起。s 文本分析
先来解决重点表达:
sleazy稀薄的
let.. through 让...通过,类似pass through
我们再来做句子分析:
这句话的核心句是:The darkness was thin,即:暮色稀薄。
其他内容都是锦上添花的作用,就是让这个核心句子显得更加完整具体。怎么做到的呢?
首先是用到了比喻:这里的like.就起到了这个作用:“like some sleazy dress”
像是一条薄薄的裙子,将darkness比作薄薄的裙子还不够,还穿了好几个冬天(has been worn and worn for many winters),冬天里穿裙子一定非常的寒冷。于是作者又加上了寒冷入骨(to the bones)。如此,一个寒冷的夜晚(cold night)与一件不能御寒的敞衣相联系,内容可以如此丰富。
关于比喻,可能有些同学不是特别熟悉,再给大家一个例句:
A fire still fluttered in the grate (壁炉炉膛), ... like a bird trying to find its way out of the room.
一团火还在壁炉炉膛里舞动着,就像一只挣脱束缚的鸟。
这句话里,把壁炉里跳动的火苗比作想挣脱束缚的鸟(find its way out of the room)。使“火苗”的描写更加生动。
我们再来上面提到的“薄雾”的例子,回忆一下公式:
写景+比喻+特点
如果说详细一点就是:
平平无奇的交代下自然现象+比喻(定语从句或非谓语修饰)+突出特点(冷得不得了)
学习读后续写,最快的方式,就是改编,仿写。我们一起来牛刀小试一下吧:
如果我们要描写“雾”,应该怎么写呢?给大家5秒钟时间思考一下吧。
好,时间到。我们来看一下这位同学的写法:
The wind was blowing. The mist was getting thick, like a huge textured velvet cloak, making what is hidden inside an unclear mystery.
风正在吹。雾越来越浓,像一件巨大的有质感的天鹅绒斗篷,把一切隐藏在模糊的神秘之中。
这句仿写的句子很好的get到了比喻的精髓,非常好的运用了“like”,textured velvet cloak(有质感的天鹅绒斗篷),形象具体。非谓语making做状语,也着实炫了一下语法。既简洁描绘了景色,又营造了一种神秘、紧张的氛围。
环境描写的背诵素材:
Standing beside the empty road, they looked up into the sky, feeling the precious peace from within.
站在空旷的道路旁,他们抬头仰望天空,从内心感受到珍贵的平和。
1. 人物动作的画面定格
They stood there for a moment, side by side, waiting for the rushing holiday current and for their place in it. Then the daughter glanced over and momentarily regarded her mother. And slowly, almost reluctantly, she placed her arm with apparently unaccustomed affection around her mother’s shoulders and gently guided her back into the deluge.
她们并肩站在那里,等待着节日的浪潮,等待着她们在浪潮中的位置。然后女儿扫了一眼,立刻注视着她的母亲。慢慢地,几乎是不情愿地,带着明显不习惯的爱她把胳膊放在她母亲的肩膀上,轻轻地引导她回到洪水中。
His hard work paid off! Holding the soda tin firmly, Reuben rushed for the shop to buy the brooch. The moment he got the beautiful brooch, he burst through the front door and placed it in Dora’s hand. Never had Dora received such a gift. Speechless and happy, she held her son tightly into her arms, with tears welling up in her eyes.
他的努力得到了回报!鲁本紧紧地握着汽水罐,冲向商店去买胸针。他一拿到那枚漂亮的胸针,就冲进前门,把它放在朵拉的手里。多拉从来没有收到过这样的礼物。她高兴得说不出话来,紧紧地把儿子抱在怀里,眼泪涌了出来。
The butterfly cleaned her tears on the face,“No.” God felt a bit relieved and said,“Tomorrow you can become human again.” Bu
2. 特殊寓意的写景画面
The sky was a billion pure eyes of light and the grass green underfoot, it was as if night and day had become one beautiful moment. Dawn had come.
天空像是一亿只纯净的眼睛拼接在一起,脚下是青草,仿佛黑夜和白昼已成为一个美丽的时刻。黎明已经来临。(黎明到来的画面)
Dawn sent shimmering rays over the placid ocean, bestowing a golden path from the shore to the horizon.
黎明在平静的海面上放射出出闪闪发亮的光线,留下一条从海岸到地平线横亘而过的金色道路。(黎明到来的画面)
The crystal and cerulean water was gentle as I waded through it, the sunset like orange paint on a blue canvas.
当我涉过水晶般天蓝色的轻柔的水时,日落就像蓝色画布上的橙色颜料。(美好日落时的画面)
The lingering sunlight was obliterated by the rapidly falling night,resembling a pitch-black curtain draped over the sky.
逗留在天际的最后一缕阳光被迅速落下的夜幕擦除,就像是天空被一层漆黑的幕布覆盖。(日落时的画面)
The moon under siege by stars seemed to lighten the night bringing forth stars that shone and hung in the blackness. The never ending blackness consumed everything.
被群星围困的月亮似乎照亮了黑夜,带来了在黑暗中闪耀和悬挂着的群星。无尽的黑暗吞噬了一切。(描写夜空的画面)
Looking up, I saw the sun shine brighter than I ever knew before. I saw a tree in the distance glisten gently as it reflected the sun's rays. My consciousness ebbed away with the heat. I took a few blinks before I landed with a thud.
抬头一看,我看到太阳比我以前所知道的还要明亮。我看见远处有一棵树反射着太阳光,发出柔和的光辉。我的意识随着热度而衰退。我眨了眨眼,然后摔倒在地才猛然回到现实中,恢复了知觉。(特殊寓意)
Dotted with glittering stars, the sky, midnight blue, gave the scene a fairytale quality.
缀满星光的天空,午夜的蓝色,给了这一场景一个童话般的质量。(神话般美丽的夜空画面)
The rain drummed on the window, bidding farewell to the last beam of sunlight.
雨水打着窗户,向最后一缕阳光告别。 (雨水来临的画面)
Kissed by the rain and glistening, the wet ground is cold under foot. A dense earthly sweet smell rises from the ground, enveloping everything within its soft embrace.
潮湿的地面走起来很冷,被雨水亲吻后闪闪发光。一股浓郁的泥土般的香味从地上升起,把一切都包裹在它柔软的怀抱里。(雨后清新的画面)
The leaves crunched beneath my feet as I strolled down the street. Occasionally, one would fall past me, lightly swaying as the air gently carried it to the ground.
我在街上漫步时,树叶在我脚下嘎吱作响。偶尔,有叶子会从我身边掉下来,轻轻地摇晃,缓缓落到到地面。(描写落叶的画面)