描写医院场景：摘自尼克·卡特 “The Mystery of St. Agnes' Hospital”
医院场景：摘自尼克·卡特 “The Mystery of St. Agnes' Hospital”
医院场景：
Nick’s first glance at the body of Chick took a weight like mountain of lead off his heart. Chick was bound and gagged. This was enough to make Nick certain that no serious harm had come to him, but he was instantly made aware of it in another way. Cautiously Chick lifted an eyelid. A less acute observer than Nick would not have seen the movement. The eye opened wide, and then it winked. Chick was all right.
参考译文：
尼克第一眼看到奇克的身体，感觉就像从他的心上卸下一堆铅。奇克被绑着，嘴巴也被堵着。这足以使尼克确信他没有受到严重伤害，但是他立刻从另一个方面意识到了这一点。奇克小心翼翼地抬起眼皮。一个不如尼克敏锐的观察者是不可能察觉到的。那眼睛睁得大大的，然后眨了一眨。奇克没事。
赏析：
本段描写了尼克在一看到自己的兄弟奇克的近况时两兄弟无言的互动。先描写了情绪，如释重负，再描写了兄弟的现状。最后通过更加细节的动作描写，让读者身临其境地感受到兄弟之间的互相关心。
思考：
在读后续写中，如果遇到医院探访的场景甚至如释重负的境遇时，可以尝试模仿运用，先情绪，再所见，再互动。通过细致的动作描写推动情节，体现人物的关系和情感。
2020年7月高考的读后续写
Para2 ：At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. A glimmer of rapture ran through my body. Elli and I rapidly stood up and waved our arms violently. The pilot easily found us and soon laid down a long ladder. In a panic, we climbed as fast as we could. As we were climbing the rope ladder, the feeling of relaxation spread through our heart. The helicopter raised fast, and we finally fled for our lives. Finding his goal escaping, the bear roared angrily, but nothing he could do to catch us. The moment we were into the helicopter, we collapsed, gasping with relief. A narrow escape exactly occurred !
点评：本段文字和整篇的情节发展衔接到位。见到救援直升机到了，男主先感到一丝欣喜，然后招手示意，跑向直升机，爬上绳梯。期间的情绪从欣喜到意思放松，最后脱险之后的如释重负表现得淋漓尽致。
附带2020年9月Z20联考读后续写的一段学生习作：
Soon, I was sent to the hospital. The moment I was off the ambulance, all my loved family members came crowding in. Apparently, no one would not be stunned on seeing an arrow piercing the neck. The deafening shouts and constant stream of patients made the emergency room in chaos. But to the hospital staff’s credit, they examined my wound calmly while soothing me constantly to ease my anxiety. “It’s no big deal but an immediate surgery is desperately needed. Get everything ready.” The doctor in charge ordered professionally. I had no idea how long it took before I regained my consciousness. Anyway, I made it and the alarming news got spread around in my community. 私家英语