浅谈读后续写中的描写与叙述
叙述和描写,在读后续写中占有重要地位和作用,是记叙文写作的主要方法。
◎ 什么是“描写”?
“描写”是5种主要写作表达方式(5种表达方式:叙述、描写、议论、抒情、说明)之一。
所谓“描写”:就是作者用生动、形象的语言,具体形象地把描写对象(人物、事件、景、物、环境等)的存在和变化(状貌和情态)精细地描绘出来,给人以鲜明的印象和深刻的感受,使人有身临其境之感。
◎ 什么是“叙述” ?
所谓“叙述”,就是作者对所写的人物、事件、环境、情景等,所作的一般的述说和交代。简言之,“叙述”,是指对人物、事件、环境所作的概括的,或具体的说明和交代。
在记叙文写作中, 描写比叙述更重要;但叙述也有描写所无法替代的重要作用。在文章中,人物交代、情况叙说、过渡连贯,都离不了叙述。
叙述,还有极强的简括性。它往往用简要的几句话,就可以写尽上下几千年、纵横数万里、囊括人物复杂的一生、事件的原委始末。这对描写来说,是望尘莫及的。写文章,不能一叙到底,也不能一描到底。光是叙述,文章会抽象、空泛;全用描写,文章会冗烦 、芜杂。因此,叙述和描写常常交织在一起使用: 一般是先叙述后描写,有叙述在前的说明,后面的具体描写才有根有基。春天快来了,我们一起欣赏一篇描写春天自然风光的名篇,体会作者是如何运用叙述和描述的写作手法的。
Spring
朱自清
For so long we had been waiting before the east wind finally resumed(重新开始) its course. Now Spring is to arrive in no time.
盼望着,盼望着,东风来了,春天的脚步近了。
It seems that everything is just after a long sleep, their eyes still sleepy. Mountains and hills turn more luxuriant(繁茂的), rivers and lakes fuller and clearer, and the sun hotter.
一切都像刚睡醒的样子,欣欣然张开了眼。山朗润起来了,水涨起来了,太阳的脸红起来了。
The new grass, tender and greenish, sneaked(偷偷地钻出来) out of the ground without anybody knowing when. The gardens, fields, everywhere you turn, you see but tracts after tracts of greenness. You may like to sit down, or lie down, or roll yourself over on the grass; and you may feel like playing footfall or doing several rounds of running or even playing hide-and-seek on it. The breeze was simply so gentle and the grass so tender.
小草偷偷地从土里钻出来,嫩嫩的,绿绿的。园子里,田野里,瞧去,一大片一大片满是的。坐着,躺着,打两个滚,踢几脚球,赛几趟跑,捉几回迷藏。风轻悄悄的,草软绵绵的。
The peach trees, apricot trees, and pear trees seem to vie(竞争) against each other in blossoming. The red resemble fire, the pink clouds, and the white snow, giving off a sweet fragrance. With your eyes closed, you could almost see peaches, apricots and pears on these trees. And swarms of bees are buzzing among the flowers, together with butterflies, large and small, busy flying to and fro. Wild flowers are seen here and there: a miscellany(大杂烩) with or without a name each, dotting the grass like eyes, or stars that blink from time to time.
桃树、杏树、梨树,你不让我,我不让你,都开满了花赶趟儿。红的像火,粉的像霞,白的像雪。花里带着甜味儿,闭了眼,树上仿佛已经满是桃儿、杏儿、梨儿。花下成千成百的蜜蜂嗡嗡地闹着,大小的蝴蝶飞来飞去。野花遍地是:杂样儿,有名字的,没名字的,散在花丛里,像眼睛,像星星,还眨呀眨的。
“Blowing into your face without making you feel cold is the spring breeze.” True, it was just like a mother’s hand fondling you. The smell of the newly-cultivated land carried by the wind to you, mixed with that of the grass as well as fragrance of various kinds of flowers, was brewing in the slightly-moistened air. Now that the nestle had been completed among luxuriant flowers and tender leaves, the birds grew happy, singing proudly to call their friends as well as mates with their notes in perfect harmony with the gentle breeze and gurgling(潺潺地流) water. And the cowboys on the buffalo back can be heard blowing their flute so resonantly(洪亮的) these days.
“吹面不寒杨柳风”,不错的,像母亲的手抚摸着你。风里带来些新翻的泥土的气息,混着青草味儿,还有各种花的香,都在微微润湿的空气里酝酿。鸟儿将巢安在繁花嫩叶当中,高兴起来了,呼朋引伴地卖弄清脆的喉咙,唱出宛转的曲子,跟轻风流水应和着。牛背上牧童的短笛,这时候也成天在嘹亮地响着。
Rain is nothing unusual now, and often lasts two to three days. Never get annoyed! Look, could it be ox hair, or needles, or thin threads instead ? Those thin threads simply weave sideways, so densely that a thin mist pervades(弥漫) over all the house-tops. The tree leaves are, however, dazzlingly green, so is the grass with its luxuriance. When the dusk sets in and lights are on, the pool of dim light suggests a night of peace and quiet. In the countryside, on the trails and beside the stone bridges, there are people strolling leisurely, holding an umbrella, and there are also farmers working in the fields, wearing a straw-cloak and a bamboo-hat. Their houses, sparsely(稀疏的) located, stand still in the weaving rain.
雨是最寻常的,一下就是三两天。可别恼。看,像牛毛,像花针,像细丝,密密地斜织着,人家屋顶上全笼着一层薄烟。树叶儿却绿得发亮,小草也青得逼你的眼。傍晚时候,上灯了,一点点黄晕的光,烘托出一片这安静而和平的夜。在乡下,小路上,石桥边,有撑起伞慢慢走着的人;还有地里工作的农民,披着蓑戴着笠。他们的草屋稀稀疏疏的,在雨里静默着。
Gradually, there are more and more kites in the sky and the number of children on the ground grows, too. In cities as well as in the countryside, people from every household, young and old, are all pouring out of their homes one after another to stretch their limbs and, with their spirits aroused, go about their own business. “The whole year’s plan is made in Spring,”the saying goes. A year has just started, so there is still much time and one can have as many hopes.
天上风筝渐渐多了,地上孩子也多了。城里乡下,家家户户,老老小小,也赶趟儿似的,一个个都出来了。舒活舒活筋骨,抖擞抖擞精神,各做各的一份儿事去,“一年之计在于春”;刚起头儿,有的是工夫,有的是希望。
Spring comes as a newly-born baby, new from head to toe, who grows.
Spring comes as a charming maid, dressed in her Sunday best, who laughs as she walks.
Spring comes as a robust(结实的) lad with a strong arm, waist and feet, who leads us forwad.
春天像刚落地的娃娃,从头到脚都是新的,它生长着。
春天像小姑娘,花枝招展的,笑着,走着。
春天像健壮的青年,有铁一般的胳膊和腰脚,他领着我们上前去。
《春》是一篇满贮诗意的散文。它以诗的笔调,描绘了我国南方春天特有的景色:绿草如茵,花木争荣,春风拂煦,细雨连绵,呈现一派生机和活力;在春境中的人,也精神抖擞,辛勤劳作,充满希望。《春》是一幅春光秀丽的画卷,《春》是一曲赞美青春的颂歌。
作品起始写道:“盼望着,盼望着,东风来了,春天的脚步近了。”两个“盼望着”的词语重叠,强化了人们对春天的期盼。“春天的脚步近了”,更把春天拟人化,似乎春天正在大踏步向我们走来。看:“一切都像刚睡醒的样子,欣欣然张开了眼。山朗润起来了,水长起来了,太阳的脸红起来了。”作者先从总的方面描绘春境,勾画出大地回春万物复苏的景象。(主要是叙述)
接着,作者推出五个特写镜头,细致入微地描绘春天的动人景象。(重点是描述)
第一个特写镜头是春草:“小草偷偷地从土里钻出来,嫩嫩的,绿绿的。”作者不仅写出了春草的嫩绿、绵软,而且还摄下了它对人的诱惑力:人们在草地上“坐着,躺着,打两个滚,踢几脚球,赛几趟跑,捉几回迷藏。”这里的绿茵,已不是单纯的自然景物,而成了人们生活的亲爱的伴侣——景物变成了情物。
第二个特写镜头是花木争荣:“桃树、杏树、梨树,你不让我,我不让你,都开满了花赶趟儿。红的像火,粉的像霞,白的像雪。”不仅果树之花争相斗妍,而且野花遍地,万紫千红。众花还以其特有的色香,吸引无数的蜜蜂“嗡嗡地闹着”,大小蝴蝶翩翩起舞。这些描写,活现出春意盎然的气氛。作者不以再现自然花色为满足,还特意驰骋想象的翅膀写道:果树之花“带着甜味,闭了眼,树上仿佛已经满是桃儿、杏儿、梨儿。”想象不仅拓宽了描写的视野,更从未来角度渲染了春花的可爱。
第三个特写镜头是春风。较之春花来说,春风是不容易描写的。朱自清写春风,主要抓住了两点,一是春风的柔和,二是它具有传声送味的作用。作者先用南宋志南和尚的“吹面不寒杨柳风”的诗句,来状写春风的温暖,柔和;他犹恐读者不易领会,马上来了一句人人能领会的摹写:“像母亲的手抚摸着你”。“风里带来些新翻的泥土的气息,混着青草味,还有各种花的香,都在微微湿润的空气里酝酿”。作者从传味角度写春风,不仅强化了春的氛围,也将此段与上两段关于草、花的描写自然地连接起来。春风还把春鸟的歌唱、牧童的笛音,送入人的耳膜,“与轻风流水应和着”。作者从多方位描写春风,把这个本来不易表现的事物也写得栩栩如生。
第四个特写镜头是春雨。朱自清写南方的春雨连绵:“看,像牛毛,像花针,像细丝,密密地斜织着,人家屋顶上全笼着一层薄烟。”这种雨,使树叶子“绿得发亮,小草也青得逼你的眼”。雨夜,一点点黄晕的灯光,“烘托出一片安静而和平的夜”。白天,“地里工作的农夫,披着蓑,戴着笠的”——这俨然是一幅春雨农耕图了。
第五个特写镜头是春境中人的活动。前四幅画面以写自然景色为主,这幅画面则突出人的作为:“城里乡下,家家户户,老老小小,他们也赶趟儿似的。一个个都出来了。舒活舒活筋骨,抖擞抖擞精神,各做各的一份事去”。在春天,花儿“赶趟儿”地开;人们为了迎春,“也赶趟儿似的”走出家门。在春天,花卉争荣,各不相让;人们“一年之计在于春”,也以只争朝夕的精神投入了工作。
在以上盼春、绘春的基础上,作品最后唱起了对春的赞歌(议论升华):
春天像刚落地的娃娃,从头到脚都是新的,它生长着。
春天像小姑娘,花枝招展的,笑着,走着。
春天像健壮的青年,有铁一般的胳膊和腰脚,他领着我们上前去。
这里,作者用三个比喻性的排比句式,说明春天是新鲜、美丽、欢快、具有强大生命力的;人类也应当踏着春天的步伐,去创造美好幸福的生活。
《春》是一篇描写自然风光的出色散文,读起来轻松愉快、充满活力。《春》的语言简朴、活脱、口语化。如写草,“园子里,田野里,瞧去,一大片一大片满是的”;写花,“你不让我,我不让你,都开满了花赶趟儿”。这些语言都是从生活中提炼出来的,生动活泼,节奏明快,语短意丰,表现力强。作者为了更好地描写春天,还采用比喻、拟人等多种修辞方法,使春天形象化、人格化。